Do You Know How to Listen?

The 10 Commandments of Powerful Listening

 

 

Rules for being a good listener involve courtesy and common sense. Some rules may seem obvious, or trivial, but it is amazing how many people forget them. Often, you don’t mean to be rude, but your enthusiasm for a subject and your own desire to hear yourself talk make you forget courtesy. At other times, you are so intent with expressing your own viewpoint that you forget to listen to what the other person is saying. You just plain stop listening!

 

Here are some rules for good listening:

 

1. Fight off distractions. Train yourself to listen carefully to your prospect’s words despite such external distractions as a ringing telephone, passersby, or outside noises. Focus on words, ideas, feelings, and the underlying intent of your prospects.

 

2. Do not trust your memory. Take notes. However, keep your notes brief, because listening ability is impaired while you are writing. All you need to write down is something to jog your memory later so that you can recall the complete content of the message.

 

3. Let your prospects tell their own stories first. When prospects explain their situations, they may reveal interesting facts and valuable clues that will aid you in helping them to solve their problems and satisfy their needs. Then, you can tailor your discussion to their particular needs, goals, and objectives. You can thus dispense with those aspects of your presentation that may have been inappropriate to that specific prospect.

 

4. Use feedback. Constantly try to check your understanding of what you hear. Do not hear only what you want to hear. In addition, consistently check to see if your prospect wants to comment or respond to what you have previously said.

 

5. Listen selectively. Very often in conversation, your prospects will tell you specific things that will help you identify their problems. These critical messages may be hidden within the much broader context of the conversation. You must listen in such a way that you can separate the wheat from the chaff.

 

6. Relax. When your prospect is speaking to you, try to put this individual at ease by creating a relaxed and accepting environment. Don t give the impression you want to jump right in and speak.

 

7. Listen attentively. Face your prospects straight on, with uncrossed arms and legs, and lean slightly forward. Establish good eye contact. Nod affirmatively and use appropriate facial expressions when called for, but don’t overdo it.

 

8. Create a positive listening envıronment. Try to ensure an atmosphere of privacy away from sources of distraction. Do not violate your prospect’s “personal space.” Take great effort to make sure that the environment is conducive to effective listening.

 

9. Ask questions. Ask open‑ended questions to allow your prospects to express their feelings and thoughts. The effective use of questions shows your prospects that you are interested and that you are listening, and it allows you to contribute to the conversation.

 

10. Be motivated to listen. Without the proper attitude, all the foregoing suggestions for effective listening are for naught. Try to keep in mind that there is no such thing as an uninteresting speaker—there are only uninterested listeners.

 

These are the 10 commandments of powerful listening. If you are really willing to learn how to listen it will take a lot of hard work to learn the skills, and constant practice to stay in shape. Remember that prospects feel relieved when they find salespeople who understand what they have to say about their problems. Once you truly understand your prospects by actively listening to them, they will most likely reciprocate by listening to you and trying to understand your viewpoint. Isn’t this what selling is all about?

 

 

This article was adapted from Tony Alessandra’s new six‑cassette audio alburn, The Dynamics of Effective Listening, available for $59. To place your order or receive information about Dr. Alessandra speaking to your group, call 1-800-222-4383.

You have to make a speech-nervous?

Preparing for Success in Speaking

The success of your speaking is determined primarily by the time you spend preparing before you step in front of your audience.  A good presentation requires careful planning and lack of planning is always apparent.  Sure clues are speeches that are too long, too detailed, confusing, vague, boring or off-track.  You can spend less time producing short, powerful presentations if you systematically prepare beforehand.

 

The often overlooked first and most critical step in preparation is understanding the “what” and the “why” of your presentation: its purpose.  Your purpose should be the broad general outcome you want the presentation to achieve.  Here are three questions you can ask yourself to clarify the objective of your presentation:

o  Why am I giving this presentation?

o  What do I want the audience to know or do at the end of the presentation?

o  How do I want the audience to feel?

It often helps us prepare for a presentation when we understand the different types of presentations.  Here are four basic types that differ primarily in the amount of detail presented and the level of persuasiveness required to meet the objective of the presentation:

 

            Sales —  Use the sales presentation to sell an idea or suggestion to clients, upper management, co-workers, or employees.  You may also use the sales presentation to persuade an audience to take a particular action or adopt a belief.  This type of presentation uses a lot of persuasive skills and seldom requires extensive detail.

            Explanatory — The explanatory presentation is best used to familiarize, give an overall perspective, or identify new developments.  It should rarely involve heavy detail, but should offer the audience new or renewed information and understanding.  It does not require extensive persuasive efforts.

            Instructional —  When you want to teach others how to use something, such as a new procedure or a piece of hardware, use the instructional presentation.  There is usually more audience participation and involvement with this presentation format.  It generally involves extensive detail.  This is a persuasive presentation because you are convincing your audience to use a new technique or to adopt a new method of doing something.

 

            Oral report— oral reports bring the audience up to date on something with which they are already familiar.  These generally focus on facts, figures and other details and involve little persuasive efforts.

Relax and try to enjoy it!

 

 

Know Your Audience

 

After you have a statement of purpose and understand the type of presentation you will be giving, you must consider the particular audience you have in mind and how to mold your presentation to fit the specific characteristics of that audience.  The more time you devote to analyzing your audience beforehand, the less you will have to do “on the spot.”

 

Here are some ways you can acquire information in advance regarding your audience:

 

o  Ask the presentation host for information about the audience.  Find out general demographics such as age, sex, professional level, specific interests and needs.  Also ask what the group has responded well to in the past.  What presentation styles were well received?

 

            o  Talk to members of the audience.  If possible, arrive early enough to survey one or more members of the audience to find out what they expect and what they would like to hear.

 

            o  Talk to other speakers.  If you know other speakers who have spoken to the same group, ask them what worked and what they would do differently with the group.

 

Here are some questions you should always ask yourself to help you to analyze the needs of each particular audience you will address.

 

-Why should they listen to you?

-How does what you say affect them?

-What’s in it for them to listen to you?

-Why is it important for the audience to hear what you have to say?

 

How Can You Prepare For A Great Meeting?

              Just How DO You Prepare for an Effective Meeting?


By Dr. Tony Alessandra

The success of a meeting is directly related to the amount of time invested in preparation beforehand.  Before planning the meeting, you should understand what type of meeting it will be.  The type of meeting affects how many people attend, the structure of the meeting and the meeting objectives.  Here are the basic types of meeting:

Information exchange — information exchange meetings provide a forum for disseminating the same message to a large group of people. This is important when the information is controversial or complex, it has strong implications for attendees, or if it needs to be conveyed in person. A meeting to explain a new profit sharing policy would be an example of this type of meeting.

This type of meeting is also used for status meetings which generally feature progress reports on all projects under the scope of the attendees. These reports keep the group posted on the current status of projects it is responsible for. Information exchange meetings can be relatively large in attendance. The format typically includes formal presentations with questions and answers from other attendees. Audiovisual equipment may be required.

Brainstorming— these sessions generally precede problem-solving meetings when it is important to generate alternative solutions. Participation of all attendees is critical and it is important to have a broad mix of attendees. Brainstorming sessions should not have more than seven attendees.

Prepare a meeting that people will enjoy.

Problem solving — the objective here is to pool the knowledge, wisdom and experience of the attendees and to identify the best possible solution to the problem.  In order to meet that objective each attendee needs to understand the problem and each participant should have a part to play in solving the problem.  Brainstorming should be used to identify possibilities.  Every participant should be encouraged to contribute.  After a solution is agreed upon, it should be analyzed for weaknesses. Consider both the positive and negative aspects before taking action.  These sessions should have no more than 5-7 participants and should be very informal and participative.

Project planning — planning and implementation meetings are primarily held to determine logistics and responsibility allocations.  They can be somewhat larger than a problem solving session.  It is important to document decisions, action items and responsibilities.

Training — training sessions are ideal when they are limited to 15-20 attendees, require participation and involvement, and give people a chance to learn from their peers.

Determining the Purpose of the Meeting

The meeting leader needs to recognize and fine-tune the specific purpose for the meeting.  For instance, if the general topic is training needs, the manager might break it into more specific subtopics such as: identifying primary training needs for each department; determining which could be done in-house; establishing priorities; and developing a strategy for training.  The process of fine-tuning the purpose might determine a need for more than one meeting.

Come into a meeting with a mindset of getting the job done, but enjoying yourself as well!!

The first question a meeting leader should be able to answer is, “Why are we having this meeting?”  Until the meeting leader is completely clear about the purpose of the meeting, there is no way the meeting will be efficient and effective.

Setting Objectives for the Meeting

The meeting leader should have a written set of objectives for the meeting.  These should be objectives that can only be accomplished by bringing together a group of people.  If one person can accomplish the objectives, there’s no point in having a meeting.  Here are some common objectives:

More accurate information.  Since messages become standardized in a meeting, management can ensure that everyone receives the same information in the same way. As companies grow and communication tends to get more complicated, this function of meetings becomes even more important. However, for simple messages which do not require interaction, memos are a much more cost effective method of distributing a standardized message.

More effective coordination of activities.  Meetings bring people together and help them understand how they fit within the company.  Presenting the “big picture” helps each individual understand the importance of and how to implement change.

Improving the flow of communication both upwards and downwards.  Meetings connect top management with employees, allowing management to report on what the company has accomplished and to explain future changes. Employees have a chance to ask questions, seek clarification and understand the decision processes involved with changes. They may also offer suggestions and ideas for consideration by management.

Facilitating the decision-making process.  Attendees bring with them the pieces of information necessary to solve a problem. Once a solution is identified, those who will implement it should be present to add their ideas and suggestions.

Training.  Training meetings ensure more uniform training of employees and provide an interactive forum where participants can learn from each other.

Building morale.  The sense of teamwork is revitalized at meetings in an environment of purpose and commitment.  Meetings provide an excellent forum for recognizing achievements of the group and individuals.

Planning the Meeting Agenda

The meeting agenda is the single most important component of meeting planning.  A well thought out agenda distributed prior to the meeting will provide participants with purpose and direction.  It prepares participants in advance and helps to create a solid structure for the meeting.

The meeting leader can ask participants to submit agenda items, if she wants to promote group involvement and avoid surprises at the meeting.  A written agenda is useful, because it:

o  Enables participants to come supplied with the right materials

o  It provides a framework which supports the flow of the meeting and              keeps a time frame for the discussion of each topic

o  It keeps the group on track with a written reminder and focuses                                             the group’s attention

o  It lets all participants know who has been invited

Make sure the agenda is succinct and direct, but avoid making it too brief or vague.  In general, keep the agenda and meeting short.  It is better to schedule two or three shorter meetings and keep the number of items per meeting to five or six, than try to cover everything in one monster meeting.

The agenda should cover the following points:

o  The date, start time and finish time (generally not more                                                          than two hours)

o  Where the meeting will be held, and, if necessary, how to get there

o  The topic and sub-areas to be covered, including a brief description of each

o  A brief indication of the reason for the inclusion of each topic

o  How much time will be allotted to each topic

o  A list of participants

Each item on the agenda should be relevant to the purpose of the meeting.  Ask yourself the following questions when considering whether or not to include an item:

o  Does the item support one of the meeting objectives?

o  Is the item of concern to all group members?

o  Does the group have the authority to handle the issue?

o  Is the subject appropriate to the level of the group?

o  Does the group have all the data it needs to discuss the topic?

Unless you can answer “yes” to the first four of these questions, drop the topic.  If you answered “no” to number five, refer it to a subcommittee or staff member for research.  The topic can be added to the agenda once the necessary information has been gathered.

Additionally, the agenda should explain the meeting objectives and what questions and issues are likely to arise.  If one item is of special interest to the group, it is often best to single it out for special mention in a covering note.  Meeting leaders should consider identifying each item with:  “For information,” “For discussion,” or “For decision” so that attendees are aware of the purpose of each.

Meetings-Are Yours Magic or Mucky?

 

Meeting Magic or Misery

By Dr. Tony Alessandra

Do you approach a business meeting expecting just another annoying waste of time?  Do you walk away from it wondering why you wasted your time?  If so, you know first hand how frustrating inefficient meetings are.  Most managers spend 25-30% of their time in meetings and studies show that the average cost of a meeting runs over $1,000.  Since it’s rare for most organizations to have a meeting-free day, the total cost of meetings quickly adds up to a major expense.

Meetings are currently the most expensive communication activity in the business world — more costly than word processing, computers, paperwork, or multitudes of phone calls.  Consider the salaries of those in attendance, preparation costs, travel expenses, and the price of materials, facilities, and equipment used during the meeting.  Even if an organization conducted only two meetings a week, the total annual cost for those gatherings would run well over $104,000.

Perhaps even more costly than the loss of time and money is the reduced morale that happens when people are forced to sit through boring, poorly planned and conducted meetings.  When unproductive meetings occur regularly, people with demanding schedules begin to avoid attending.  Yet, these are the very individuals whose participation may be most important.

The primary reason meetings don’t accomplish their objectives is lack of advance planning and preparation.  Even though executives spend a significant portion of their time in meetings, studies show that 78% have never received training on how to plan, organize and conduct a meeting.

When meetings are well-managed, they are an effective and essential tool for communication within the organization.  Important decisions are made, ideas are generated, and information is shared.   Meetings are a critical part of team building and, as team spirit grows, the company benefits as the group’s ability to work together and make decisions grows.

There are six basic functions that meetings perform better than any other communication technique:

Share knowledge — meetings provide a forum where individual information and experience can be pooled. The group revises, updates and adds to what it knows collectively.

Establish common goals — meetings help every member of the team understand the goals and objectives of the group and how his individual efforts will affect those objectives.

Gain commitment — meetings gain consensus on decisions and foster commitment.  An agreement and sense of responsibility to implement and support the decisions is created.

Provide group identity — meetings define the team.  Those present belong to the team, those absent do not. Attendees develop a sense of collective identity.

Team interaction — meetings are often the only occasion where the group works as a team.

Status arena — meetings give group members a chance to determine their relative status.

You may not achieve any of these functions at any one specific meeting but if none of these functions are important to you, you may want to choose a different, less expensive, communication method.

Guidelines for Effective Meetings

The fundamentals of successful meetings are not complicated or difficult to follow.  Even so, meetings that are tedious and unproductive are evidence that these guidelines are being overlooked.

Here are the basics for a productive meeting:

1.  Need.  Hold only those meetings for which there is a demonstrated       need.  Weekly status updates require a meeting only when five or more people need the information.  You can speak to three or four people individually and save a lot of time.  Regularly scheduled staff meetings may not be necessary if you have a small staff and have opportunity for frequent interaction.  Meetings are ideal when you need to solve problems that are complex or affect many people, exchange technical information, or explain a complex policy, procedure or situation.

2.  Purpose.  Every meeting must have specific, stated objectives and a broad purpose.  Attendees need to know the meeting topics beforehand, in writing, so that they can come prepared.

3.  Attendees. Invite only attendees who can contribute or who have a serious need to know.  The more people who attend a meeting, the longer it will take to accomplish your objectives.  The ideal size for a working meeting is 5-7 people.

4.  Agenda.  Agendas are an absolute must for every meeting.  While having an agenda is the most critical element of effective meeting management, 75% of all meetings have no pre-planned agenda. If possible, distribute the agenda 48 to 72 hours prior to the session.  Use an agenda even for last-minute meetings.  The meeting leader can write an agenda on a flipchart or whiteboard or the agenda can be developed with the attendees as the first action of the group.

Agendas not only help the attendees come prepared, they force the meeting        leader to organize his thoughts and priorities.  A good agenda addresses       issues in order of importance and allocates time to each issue.

5.  Choose a good meeting place. The room should offer proper ventilation, comfort, accessibility, and the necessary equipment.  It should also be free from distractions and interruptions.

6.  Start and end on time.  Meetings should begin and end punctually.  This sends a message to participants that their time is respected and that they are expected to respect the meeting time.  You might consider beginning the meeting with an uncomplicated activity, so that those who still arrive late can catch up.  Avoid “recapping” for late comers.

7.  Stick to the agenda.  Although you want to encourage participation,    new issues should be noted and held over for a later meeting.  If you let        the meeting get sidetracked, you will have difficulty meeting the goals and    objectives established.  If critical issues arise which prevent resolution on an agenda item, they can be noted and that item can be rescheduled for a later meeting.  If a new item is so critical that it needs immediate attention, poll the attendees for an agreement to address it at the current meeting.  The agenda is a contract with the attendees; it should not be changed without their concurrence.

8.  Encourage participation.  Attendees should feel comfortable enough to         offer opinions or suggestions openly.

9.  Maintain a balanced, controlled discussion.  Support members in expressing their opinions, even on volatile, highly charged issues, but discourage arguments.  Do not let any one person dominate the meeting.

10.  Summarize and distribute minutes.  Recap the decisions and any actions planned as a result of the meeting to make sure that everyone is in accord on the proposed action details:  who is to do what and when.  Make sure that each attendee receives written minutes no later than two days following the meeting.

You can help ensure consistently productive meetings by following a meeting policy based on the above.  A succinct one-page set of guidelines should be printed, distributed, and most importantly, followed.  The easiest way to encourage the adoption of these guidelines is to demonstrate them.  As people see the effectiveness of meetings increase as a result of following the guidelines, they will begin to implement them also.

Have you been to a meeting like this?

ADAPTABILITY-Can You Connect With Others?

Connecting with People

 

How well you speak the other person’s language?  How well you get on that person’s wavelength?  There are some people, as professional as they are, as knowledgeable as they are, as helpful as they are, that simply just rub you the wrong way.  They’re just not your kind of people.

All of us are different, yet all of us are the same.

 

I remember when I moved from New York City to San Diego, I found a whole different world. I treated people in San Diego according to The Golden Rule – I treated them as I wanted to be treated – as a New Yorker wanted to be treated. I found out that the way people did business in San Diego wasn’t the way people did business in New York City. And even though I was doing things competently with knowledge and with ethics, it was my approach that turned people off. It wasn’t what I was asking them to do that prompted them to “dig in their heels.” It was how I was asking them.  I just came on too strong.  It wasn’t too strong in New York; it was too strong in San Diego.  Too fast-paced.  Just a whole different approach.  I had to get on their wavelength.

 

We all listen-make what you have to say worthy of that effort.

So, it’s important that you learn to vary your presentation, to vary your pace, to vary your language based on the type of people you’re speaking to.  I mean, if you’re calling on somebody who is a bottom-line, time-disciplined, fact-oriented, busy, results-oriented individual, are you going to go in, spend ten or fifteen minutes “chit-chatting” or socializing trying to get to know that person?  Obviously not!  If you’re calling on somebody who’s a very friendly, outgoing person who likes to talk about sports and likes to talk about family and likes to talk about just various things about business and wants to get to know somebody first and you walk in and bottom-line everything with little or no social talk, do you think that might irritate that person?  Definitely!  So, you have to size people up and get on their wavelength to create chemistry so that person will say, “Hey, you’re the type of person I want to do deal with on a long-term basis.”

 

This whole approach is called ‘adaptability” – your ability to change your approach, to change your strategy, depending on the situation or the person you’re dealing with. That’s how you really connect with people quicker, deeper and longer.

 

4 Phases of Learning. Do you know what they are?

The Four Phases of Learning

By Dr. Tony Alessandra

“The longest journey on earth begins with a single step.” (Anonymous)

 

Can you remember when you first learned how to drive a car? Before you learned how, you were in the “ignorance” stage.  You did not know how to drive the car and you didn’t even know why you didn’t know how to drive it.

When you first went out with an instructor to learn how to drive you arrived at the second phase:  knowledge.  You still couldn’t drive, but because of your new knowledge of the automobile and its parts, you were consciously aware of why you couldn’t.  This is the phase where most seminars leave people.

 

With some practice and guidance, you were able to become competent in driving the car through recognition of what you had to do. However, you had to be consciously aware of what you were doing with all of the mechanical aspects of the car as well as with your body. This third phase is the hardest stage, the one in which your people may want to give up–the “practice” stage.  People experience stress when they implement new behaviors, especially when they initially perform them imperfectly.  They’ll want to revert to the old, more comfortable behaviors, even if those behaviors are less effective.  It’s all right for them to make mistakes at this phase.  In fact, it’s necessary so they improve through practice. Training programs that include role-playing and in-the-field coaching work best at this phase of learning.

Returning to our car analogy, think of the last time that you drove. Were you consciously aware of all of the actions that we mentioned above? Of course not! Most of us, after driving awhile, progress to a level of “habitual performance.”  This is the level where we can do something well and don’t have to think about the steps.  They come “naturally” because they’ve been so well practiced that they’ve shifted to automatic pilot. This final stage is when practice results in assimilation and habit.

This four phased model for learning–ignorance, knowledge, practice and habit–is the recipe for success in learning any new behavior and having it stick.

 

CONTEST

Now that you have read all the wonderful blog posts from Dr. Tony about Genius and the different aspects of Genius…………………………….what type of Genius are you?

Just write a brief comment to this post and tell Dr. Tony what type of Genius you are or what you hope to be and Dr. Tony will pick the winner by October 15th!

What’s the prize? One of two very special DVDs-see them at the following link:

http://www.alessandra.com/products/productdetails.asp?productid=123

Let’s get lots of entries! Good Luck!!